Six days ago, I found myself in culture shock. In my search for peace and tranquility I had returned to our remote village in the middle of Germany. All the way from South India, I delighted my family with a surprise visit for the holidays. I arrived with a one-way ticket and the clear intention to return to India for travel purposes. My mood was cheerful, I enjoyed the difference in climate (from tropical plus 28 to snowy minus 18), happily shared oriental stories, got in touch with my friends from near and far, and constantly bubbled up with new ideas.
After less than two weeks my cheerfulness was shaken. Without really knowing what triggered it, I felt completely out of place. Knowing that this may well be part of a normal re-integration procedure, I tried to find ways of coping. But soon I realized it may be more of an identity shock.
A call for bringing together our high school graduates on the occasion of our 10-year reunion forced me to reflect on my life. During the past decade, I had done a lot (really, a lot!) around the world. But, at this very moment, I have no place to call my own, no job or project to commit my time, and no partner to conquer the world. I am at one of those crucial points in my life again. Whatever decision I take may have a lasting impact.
No pressure, but it is very clear that my family is eager for me to return to my country, after I was living abroad for five consecutive years, in four different countries. I have twenty boxes stored in the attic and tons of experience. It could all be so simple! I could rent a place, spread my stuff, do some research, get to know some people, and develop the rest of my life from there.
But what about my 'wild' ideas, what about the opportunities that I might miss out there, what about my backpack patiently awaiting me in Kerala to come back and finally discover India. Could I not explore before building up all of the above? What sense does it make to settle now and then be restless because a piece of me is still out there? What if I missed my exotic life?
After less than two weeks my cheerfulness was shaken. Without really knowing what triggered it, I felt completely out of place. Knowing that this may well be part of a normal re-integration procedure, I tried to find ways of coping. But soon I realized it may be more of an identity shock.
A call for bringing together our high school graduates on the occasion of our 10-year reunion forced me to reflect on my life. During the past decade, I had done a lot (really, a lot!) around the world. But, at this very moment, I have no place to call my own, no job or project to commit my time, and no partner to conquer the world. I am at one of those crucial points in my life again. Whatever decision I take may have a lasting impact.
No pressure, but it is very clear that my family is eager for me to return to my country, after I was living abroad for five consecutive years, in four different countries. I have twenty boxes stored in the attic and tons of experience. It could all be so simple! I could rent a place, spread my stuff, do some research, get to know some people, and develop the rest of my life from there.
But what about my 'wild' ideas, what about the opportunities that I might miss out there, what about my backpack patiently awaiting me in Kerala to come back and finally discover India. Could I not explore before building up all of the above? What sense does it make to settle now and then be restless because a piece of me is still out there? What if I missed my exotic life?
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